We’re watching a clip of Yuja Wang playing Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto No. 3 on the apple TV in the living room of his professionally decorated Upper East Side high rise apartment.
You’re right, I say, she is really, really sexy.
Right? I told you. I mean her face is eh, but that body. That ass.
I disagree emphatically but don’t say anything. Yuja Wang has a lovely face-the cute, childish kind that is perfectly complimented by a feathered pixie cut.
That ass though. Ass ass ass.
He kisses me. He tastes like cigarettes, but I don’t mind.
When he reaches to undo my corduroy shorts, I place a heavy hand on his chest and sigh.
Hello. It’s me. The bearer of terrible news. I’m on my period day 1, the heaviest. It’s coming out in ungodly clots.
Oh don’t worry about it, he says with understanding—almost too much understanding. Where is his disappointment?
Have you tried ear sex? He asks excitedly.
No–no I haven’t. I have never tried that ever. Has he?
Yes: he has. It’s great fun. Do I want my ear fucked?
The idea makes me uncomfortable, I tell him. I just don’t think it’s natural, to have my ear fucked. That particular orifice is designed for listening, not for accommodating a large, uncircumcised penis. I’m not sure it would even fit.
The ear can stretch, he assures me. We’ll use plenty of desensitizing lube. We’ll start slow.
He admits he’s been checking out my cartilage. My cartilage is beautiful. The perfect kind for fucking. I should try it, just once. He strokes my lobule. I don’t want it to feel good, but it does.
Tie your hair up. I tie my hair up.
He carries me to the bedroom and lays me gently on my side. He gives me a tempurpedic pillow to rest my head on. The lube feels cold on my bare ear. He starts slowly, just pushing his member around the anterior notch. He moans in pleasure.
Your ear is perfect. He strokes my inner helix. Your Tragus turns me on so much.
It’s a strange sensation, but not altogether unpleasant.
He begins thrusting into my canal. The feeling is intense. When he orgasms, I can actually hear the semen pumping out. Glug glug glug.
That was amazing, he breathes, kissing my jaw and neck.
Cum is oozing out of my ear.
Waiting for the metro, I desperately jump up and down on my right leg with my head tilted to the side. I hate the sensation of fluid trapped inside my head.
An overweight, middle-aged black woman stares at me curiously. She probably thinks I just went swimming at the Manhattan Sports Club. Lady if only you knew: I got my ear pounded by a massive nine-inch cock.
Sleep on yo side tonight, honey. Her voice is warm. It’ll all drip out by the time you wake up.