I just want to make money

My ass got fired today. Despite almost quitting again and again, I was shocked. There’s something unnerving about someone sitting you down and telling you you’re done. Byeee. 

A part of me believed I was so valuable to the company, I could act however I wanted without any consequences. I have the ego of Kanye West minus the success and blackness. Oh well. Getting fired feels good in a way. Like finalizing a divorce. Not that I’ve ever been divorced. I just imagine it would be depressing yet delightfully freeing? 

I called my dad and he was like, “wow you got dumped by your boyfriend then fired from your job, and you don’t even sound depressed.” I’m not. I have a headache, but I’m pretty happy. I hate decisions. I like when my fate gets decided for me. 

My dad asked me what I’m going to do now. He recommended trying to find another job in advertising, but the idea makes me cringe. It doesn’t seem worth the effort. I don’t want a job. I don’t want to win awards. I don’t want to build a career. I don’t want to create. I don’t want to accomplish anything. I just want to make money. I want to trade.

Since I began trading in January, I’ve lost about 40% of my starting capital while the market is up 10%. If my trading were entirely random, I would have neither gained nor lost money. I am good at consistently losing money. There is a way to consistently lose money. It’s possible to consistently lose money. By inductive reasoning, it should be possible to consistently make money.

This is my goal: to reliably profit from the volatility of stock prices. If I don’t give up, I’ll either A. eventually lose all my capital and have to work at Whole Foods or B. become a trader. Stay tuned lol.